This week I made the decision to drop out of Uni.
It took me a long time to come to the realisation that what I was doing was draining me and injecting no pleasure into my life. To give you some background info, I’m one of those people who has never known what they wanted to do. However, with that being said, I know there’s a path out there for me and I’m a big believer that ‘everything happens for a reason’. The thing is, if I don’t have a strong devotion for the thing I’m doing, I grow bored and become reluctant to do any work towards it. I was studying a subject (Architecture) that is very dependent on you having a deep-rooted passion for it, not to mention the fact it takes seven years to become qualified. I was talked into it by my parents and because I’m very eager to please people and not let anyone down, I found it hard to say no especially when I didn’t have a back-up plan. I managed to complete my first term with good grades but internally I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me. I was dreading going in everyday plus I had to commute and let me tell you that those train fares add up very quickly.
I just feel like there’s an unbelievable amount of pressure on young people these days to know what they want to do from an early age and it ANGERS ME. Because of school and parental pressure university had seemed like the ONLY option for me and now I’m twenty and feel like my life is passing by without me having achieved anything yet. I think I’m a failure, a quitter but I’m trying to change this outlook. Why should I know what I want to do? Maybe I’ll find the answer by exploring lots of different things.
The big question now though, is what my next move is. Do I study something different somewhere else which I have more of a desire for, or do I go straight into work and climb my way up? It’s one of the most perplexing, exhausting situations for my mind because I don’t want to make the wrong decision again. Not to mention the amount of student debt I’m already in.
Life is confusing.
‘It wasn’t the big decisions that set the course of one’s life; it was the slow accretion of all the little ones – Lauren Willig’